Dating Advice5 minutes

How to woo at a Christmas party

How to woo at a Christmas party

18 rules for picking up a date during this year’s festive frolics

Whoever plonked Christmas at the end of December knew what they were doing. Without the party season, no-one would ever get a snog in winter. Spring is the randy season, summer is the nearly-naked season, and autumn is hopelessly romantic. But winter is dark and cold. At this time of year, pulling would be impossible if we didn’t have Christmas and its parties to help us.

Here are 18 ways to make the most of the party pulling season.

1. Dress for success

Wear a sexy but comfortable outfit that suits your shape. You want to look a million dollars, but not as though you can be hired by the hour.

2. Be a lone wolf

A party flirtation has to be a solo effort. Men are terrified by girl gangs (that is, more than two girls together), and women are intimidated by groups of male mates (that is, more than two men together).

3. Head for the kitchen

At a house party, the kitchen is no hidey-hole for wallflowers – it’s chat-up central. Here’s where single people hang out, and where everyone comes to fill their glass. Once you’ve hooked a willing companion, adjourn somewhere more comfy.

4. Watch the booze

OK, it’s Christmas. You have an excuse to get tiddly. But as soon as you start wobbling and smelling of beer, you’ll be as sexy as fridge mould.

5. Flirt with your eyes

Good eye contact is the single best chat-up strategy. When you’ve spotted someone you fancy, look quickly at them, look away, then look back. If you meet their eye the second time, they’re interested.

6. Make like a mirror

To reel in your catch, show them that you have a connection. Subtly mirror their posture and behaviour. For example, sip your drink just after they sip theirs. Don’t be too obvious, or they’ll think you’re making fun of them.

7. Read their signals

If the object of your affection likes you, they’ll improve their posture by pulling in their tummy and standing slightly taller. Also watch for a suppressed smile and super-quick raised eyebrows: two clues that they like what they see.

8. Get in there

Don’t procrastinate – especially once you’ve made eye contact. There may be a lot of competition in the room, so seize your opportunity before someone else butts in.

9. Make small talk

The best chat-up lines aren’t chat-up lines at all; they’re friendly banter about what’s going on around you. Just strike up a conversation, and keep your opener brief and casual. Chat about what the booze is like, what the music is like, where all the canapés have gone…

10. Be confident

The art of the chat-up is basically the art of acting confident when you’re wobbling like jelly inside. Don’t admit that you’re nervous, or even make a joke of it. The more confident you seem, the more confident you’ll feel. But…

11. Don’t be a show-off

Don’t brag about your job, your travels or whatever. Your companion will find you far more interesting if you let them talk about themselves. Don’t even think about mentioning your car or your salary, especially if you’re chatting up a banker. You might make them cry.

12. Listen

If you find your companion interesting, they will find you interesting. So remember things that they mention early in the conversation and subtly repeat them later, worded differently. As with body language mirroring, it suggests that you’re on the same wavelength.

13. Let them know you’re interested

Forget about playing hard to get. Maintain eye contact, and touch your companion gently on the arm as you talk. It shows that you find them interesting, and they’ll be more likely to find you interesting in return.

14. Take advantage of the mistletoe

We’re all shy when it comes to sealing the deal. But if there’s a spark between you, mistletoe gives you the perfect excuse to ask for a kiss – and it could make your companion’s night.

15. Know when you’re beaten

Life is short, and parties are even shorter. Don’t waste time on someone who isn’t interested in you. If they draw back when you touch their arm, or they change the subject when you mention midnight kisses or mistletoe, try someone else.

16. Know when you’ve scored

If you’ve had a good chat and kiss under the mistletoe, you’ll know that they’re interested. If in doubt, watch their body language: if they’re leaning towards you, meeting your eye and asking you questions, they want to get to know you better.

17. Leave them wanting more

Your job now is to leave them wanting to see you again. Show your sassiness and confidence by asking for their number, vanishing into the night and texting them the next evening to say hello. They won’t be able to resist.

And finally…. 18. Don’t try to pull your boss!

Ah, the joys of office parties. Enjoy it and have a drink, but don’t make a fool of yourself. Getting cute with one of your superiors could, at best, be embarrassing. At worst, it could make your work life a living hell.

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