By Jane Hoskyn
Follow our tips to find a man – the right man, and not just another also-ran. It’s your turn to have a guy who treats you well, fills your tummy with butterflies and thinks you’re the bee’s knees. And how will you find him? Here are 14 ways to track him down and lure him under your spell…
1. Stop wasting time with Mr He’ll-Do
Are you still limping along in an on-off relationship that would have been put out of its misery long ago if you weren’t so lazy – or too insecure to face being single? If so, it’s no wonder you can’t find Mr Right. You’re too busy frittering your valuable attention on Mr Oh-All-Right-Then. Spring clean your love life and free yourself to find a man who’s right for you.
2. Get out of your comfort zone
Continually dating the same type of man is also a waste of your time. If you have a very narrow idea of your “type”, you may keep dating men who are wrong for you. You are now banned from hooking up with yet another carbon copy, and under strict instructions to go out with someone completely different. Bet you’ll wish you’d done it years ago.
3. Accept invitations
You won’t meet your ideal man, or anyone at all, if you sit at home every night with the telly. Get out there and be proactive. When friends invite you out, refuse to think “I can’t be bothered” and accept the invitation. Also look up old friends, and attend local events where you’ll see some familiar faces and plenty of new ones. As well as putting you in touch with potential suitors, a busier social life will give your confidence a boost.
4. Join a club or class
School was a fantastic place to meet and flirt with potential sweethearts. Shame you’re not at school any more, isn’t it? Well, you could be – just sign up for an evening class or two. Those coffee breaks are a ready-made excuse to hang out with attractive strangers and ask what they do for a living.
5. Borrow a dog
Dogs are nature’s great matchmakers. Go to a local park and watch those dog-walkers go – chatting, flirting and eyeing each other up as their charges stop for a sniff. If you don’t have a pooch, borrow one!
6. Make small talk with strangers
Some lucky people are natural flirts, but they don’t think it as flirting. They chat happily to the supermarket cashier, and smile at people who pass them in the street. They seem confident, friendly and approachable. Learn from them! You may not meet the man of your dreams at the supermarket checkout, but you will get some great practice. The more you chat to people, the better you’ll be at it.
7. Improve your an eye contact
This is another strategy that natural flirts do every day without thinking. If you can meet men’s eyes as you go about your everyday life, you’ll seem more confident and interested – and they’re the two qualities that win more dates than any others.
8. Socialise with your workmates
Even the dullest office colleagues have friends, and those friends may put in an appearance in the pub after work. So if you’re invited along, go. Besides, you could discover a whole new side to your workmates. Perhaps your ideal man in your office all along?
9. Socialise with singletons
If all your friends are in couples, they probably spend more time hanging out with other couples than with single men. Never mind – you’ll just have to start socialising with single people, since they’re more likely to spend time with fellow date-seekers.
10. Join a dating website
Online dating is an excellent way to meet men from outside your usual circle, and to suss them out before meeting up. Do your research first: read through lots of profiles to find out what the men are looking for, and to get the measure of your competition. Take your time to write a witty profile, ask a friend to take some great photos of you, and dive in.
11. Be as vain as you like
Vanity may be one of the seven deadly sins, but it doesn’t half boost your self-esteem. Don’t overdo it by getting up at 6am to spend two hours fussing over your hair and plastering your face with make-up, but make an effort to look good when you go out. It’ll boost your confidence as well as your appearance.
12. Be prepared
You never know when you might have your head turned, so be ready to leap into flirtatious action at any time. For example, what would you say to a gorgeous man who bumped your trolley in the supermarket? A friendly “no-worries” smile is always a good start, but then you need to build on it. Ask for advice or a recommendation, because it instantly makes the bloke feel important. Remind yourself: “listen more than talk, listen more than talk…”
13. Make some calling cards
You can call them your business cards, but really they’re your man-cards. Handing over a cool little card is a more sassy, less terrifying alternative to asking for a guy’s number. Sites like www.moo.com have loads of cool designs, or you can design your own.
14. Stand tall and smile
Your attractiveness has as much to do with what your body says as with what your body looks like. Give yourself a confident, approachable aura by standing tall and relaxing your shoulders. Try to avoid tensing your face muscles when you’re out and about. We all do it quite naturally, but it can look like a frown. So relax your face muscles, and smile when you catch a guy’s eye – and he won’t be able to resist.