Dating Advice3 minutes

The worst things men say to women

The worst things men say to women

The awful thing about early-date nerves is that it can turn your brain into mush. Worse yet, the more you like your date, the more eager you are to come across cool, calm and collected and the more likely it seems to be that you’ll slip up at some point in the old chit-chat stakes.
In any ordinary circumstance it is easy enough to access the rules of social etiquette that help you get by, but cut to the nerve-ridden date scene and faux pas are a-flowing.
Whether you’ve been on the receiving end of ill-advised banter, or you’re guilty of blurting out the Freudian slips yourself, here’s the worst of what real-life daters have dished out and got back.

“Woah, is that the time? I’ve got to go, I told my mum I’d be back by midnight”

“Wow, you scrub up really well!”

“I’m out of cash, if you’re alright to do this one I’ll shout us next time.”

“I’m rubbish at date ideas so I shall leave it in your capable hands”

“You’d be really pretty if you cracked a smile more often!”

“Gosh, these deep fried courgette flowers really repeat on you, don’t they?”

“You’re sooo much better in bed than my ex?”

“I think you’re a better person since meeting me.”

“You were hungry then?”

“That was during my dark period.”

“I don’t shower with the lads after football, they all stare at my bits. I think they’re jealous.”

“You’re not too bothered about over-doing the carbs then?”

“Have you tried the new Elizabeth Arden under eye cream? It’s amaaaazing!”

“I don’t like it when women don’t make an effort, it’s just lazy. All women need a bit of make-up.”

“I prefer fake boobs.”

“Invite your best mate, she was great fun last time!”

“It’s so nice to meet someone who’s just looking for a bit of fun.”

“Ideal woman? Any of them from The Only Way is Essex.”

“I’d say your best looking friend is….”

“Do you mind if we stay in tonight? Got a big weekend ahead and promised the lads I’d save myself.”

“If I’m honest I’m just not that into sex, I prefer the cuddles.”

“Do you mind if we turn the lights off? I like to use my imagination.”

“You look totally different to your profile picture.”

“Sorry about my cheese and onion breasts- I mean breath.”

“I can kind of relate to Prince William.”

“My celebrity dinner party guest? Think it would have to be Geoffrey Boycott.”

“I’d choose Yorkshire over South East Asia any day.”

“What’s the coalition?”

“If you can’t see why Frankie Boyle is a comedy genius I’m not sure I can go out with you.”

“You look about 12 with your hair like that, it’s cute!”

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