Ladies, are your first dates not leading to the second dates you would like them to? Falling flat on capturing the guy’s attention?
By Marcia Jedd
The power to entice or attract through personal charm is the epitome of allure. Phrased like, She’s a charmer, or I was captivated are nice to hear. These killer compliments aren’t only synonymous with the most beautiful women or the latest Hollywood starlet. We all have the ability to sell ourselves with principles of the art of allure.
Follow these tips for oozing a more charming and interesting vibe and you may find yourself turning down offers:
1. Graciousness Show kindness and courtesy in the old-fashioned way and people will notice. Use of please, thank you and other display of kind manners will do. Don’t interrupt — and chew with your mouth closed (no talking).
2. Tight lips Don’t be an easy tell-all. Save some of the good stuff for later. This allows your date to truly experience the utterly charming you. Of course you don’t want to come across as vague or evasive. Avoid spilling a lot of details up front. Save your relationship dramas if you’ve got ’em and detailed personal life stories for when you care about the person and the feeling is reciprocated.
3. Body language reveals More than 90 percent of our communication may be communicated nonverbally, that is through body language. Positive body language such as good posture and eye contact, a genuine smile (see tip below), sincere nodding and other friendly gestures will win you more favour than any words. Ditch patronizing touches, signs of nervousness and displays of closed or invasive body language. If you feel like you trust the person, show it. Likewise, if you feel inclined toward the person, it’s okay to flirt.
4. Curry favour Show your interest if it’s genuine. Ask open-end questions. Remember, people generally love to talk about themselves so make sure more than half your conversation time is about them. The more you listen, the more you may endear yourself to someone.
Need a couple more tips? Communications expert Leil Lowndes, author of books including How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships and How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.
She tells her audiences to consider: The eyes have it – Keep your gaze on the guy; don’t break eye contact until after he has finished speaking. Indeed there is a biological reaction to having a sticky gaze. It can spark the same reaction we have when we fall in love: increased heartbeat and boosts in an adrenaline-like substance which flows through the veins. Plus, when you consciously increase your eye contact on him, he’ll feel like he has captivated you.
Be slow to smile. Don’t smile so easily or frequently. Instead, make it a slow smile. This will not only boost your allure factor, but you’ll also be perceived with more credibility and integrity than a constantly grinning person. Look at his face for a bit. Pause. Take it in. Now smile.