Dating Advice4 minutes

Gifts that ruin relationships

Gifts that ruin relationships

Blessed is the minefield that is buying a gift
When it comes to buying gifts you fall into one of only two categories. You’re either one of those people that claims to ‘just love buying for other people’ and who has somehow managed to turn the act into an art form.
Or you are the sort who breaks into a cold sweat at the very thought of gift shopping – the stress, the pressure… it’s all just too, too much.
But regardless of which camp you fall into, there is no sure-fire way to ensure your gift is going to be a hit.
In fact, the impact of your choice of gift could have repercussions above and beyond a quivering lip or a sullen face. That’s right, your gift actually speaks. And volumes. Your gift has the power to communicate how much you care for your partner, how much you listen and how much they mean to you.
So no pressure at all then? Sidestep the minefield, read and take heed of our absolute no-no’s to get you off on the right foot. At all costs you need to avoid…

Gifting anything that implies a flaw
Diet books, self-help books, gym membership, anti-ageing creams, all to be avoided at all costs. You might as well save the cash and just tell them they’re fat and flawed.

Anything practical or chore related
A hoover, a set of saucepans… no, no and thrice no. Giving a gift is an opportunity to buy someone something they wouldn’t normally buy for themselves, so give the dull and practical gifts a swerve and think ‘indulgence’.

Cheap tat
If you’re trying to say ‘I care more about my bank balance than I care about you’ then go right ahead here. However, if you actually like your other half, you’re going to need to dig a little deeper. That doesn’t mean that a good gift is necessarily one you lavish cash on, but no one likes a miser and it’s never more apparent than when giving a gift. Avoid the bargain bucket and think about what it is that will make them smile, not your bank manager.

No gift at all.
‘I forgot’ is just never going to cut it. If you care then you would know the important dates – birthdays, anniversaries… there are no excuses here. If you’re time poor then get online. If you’re just thoughtless then be prepared to pay the price.

A gift that’s more about you than them
Tickets to see… your favourite band, a book… you want, clothes… you like. Buying a gift is all about the other person, it has nothing to do with you. Be selfless in the act of gift shopping and hold yourself back. It can be your turn next payday.

A ‘virtual gift’
A star named after you, chickens for a village in Africa, a donation in your name. OK, so some of them may appear to be nice, thoughtful, even selfless gestures, but aren’t they really just a little bit smug, and really… can I wear it, can I touch it? No, so where’s my actual gift then?! Get real, unless it’s a holiday think tangible, think paper-ripping and beaming smiles – now that’s a gift.

A fine line is to be trodden here and some may even argue it’s a perfectly OK gift to buy, but if you are one of those people, then proceed at your peril. We’re all adults, we all know what we like, that’s why we choose our own clothes and have done since we were 12 or 13. If we wanted dressing we’d get a stylist. If you must, try and make good with vouchers for their favourite store but please, no actual clothes.

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