Do Men Just Think About Our Bodies & is Sex the Only Thing on Their Minds?

It’s easy to tell whether people are interested through their body language and other tell-tale signs. What’s harder is knowing whether the person is interested in a relationship or just wants to get his rocks off in time for breakfast. If your date is ticking off a few too many of the signs below, it might be time to take a closer look at both of your expectations.

A Guide to Recognising Guys Who Are Just in it for Sex

1. He’s brilliant at eye contact

Eye contact is extremely seductive, and men looking for no-strings-attached relationships know this. A player is all about getting sex, and it can be quite easy to figure out if he is serious or not. Plus, they’ll only stay for breakfast if it involves hand relief and a quick goodbye!

Players are masters of body language. They know to lean in as you speak, to brush your arm, and let your knees touch for a moment longer than necessary. Most of all, they’re very good at eye contact.

A guy who wants you for more than sex will be too nervous for all this stuff.

2. He talks about himself more than about you

He wants to impress you because that’s his way into your knickers. He won’t ask you about things, but instead, he’ll bang on about his exotic travels, his amazing career, and the time he lit a cigarette for Jeremy Clarkson.

3. He avoids serious topics

He won’t discuss personal matters, because he doesn’t want to run the risk of you hugging him or opening up your own baggage. He’s just not interested in learning a thing about you. If he mentions his ex, he just wants a rebound fling.

4. Friends aren’t part of the conversation

A no-strings man doesn’t want to involve you in his life. His friends are more important than you, so he won’t chat with you about them and he certainly won’t introduce you. If your friends were to turn up at the pub, he’d make his excuses and leave.

5. He chooses your date

It’s especially easy to spot a player if you go to the cinema. A man who joins you for a chick flick is either gay or really interested in you. A man who insists on seeing John Wick—when you don’t know who John Wick is—is only taking you to the pictures because he wants sex afterwards.

6. He’s dismayed by a gift

If you’ve been chatting online for a while, you might think it’s nice to bring along a little pressie. Big risk.

If he opens it with blushing pleasure and says, “My turn next time”, you’re doing well. If he says, “You shouldn’t have”, goes silent, and looks uncomfortable, he’s terrified that you’re about to start sending out wedding invitations.

7. He asks you to go Dutch

This is a tricky one. Not all bill-splitting men are just after sex, and not all bill-payers are after a relationship. In fact, lavishing you with compliments, drinks, and dinner, is part of the player’s sex-getting strategy.

Our quick poll of male daters revealed that most men want to “treat you” and “be the man” on a first date if they want a relationship. “I’d only ask a woman to go Dutch if I didn’t care what she thought of me”, says Simon, 38. “We’d split the bill, have sex, and say goodbye in the morning. Casual and independent”.

8. He can’t keep his hands off you

If you’re on a 10th date with a guy who can’t control his public displays of affection, lucky you! It’s always nice to have a boyfriend who thinks you’re the sexiest thing alive.

But most men will only paw you on a first date if they don’t want a relationship. They know that women want gentlemen, but if they’re only after sex on the night they don’t care about the impression they’re making.

9. He doesn’t chat or cuddle after sex

Once he’s got you back to his place (or yours), it’ll be fast and furious. He has one intention, and he won’t spend time worrying about how to please you, because he’s the one who counts. Afterwards, he’ll roll over and sleep!

10. He doesn’t call

If a man doesn’t call or get in touch after you had sex on a first date, it doesn’t always mean that he’s shy or playing hard to get. It could mean he’s got what he wanted.

A man who really likes you will call or get in touch, probably within 24 hours of your first date. It won’t be a booty call, either. He’ll want to chat, ask questions, and hear the sound of your voice, and he’ll be terrified. Be nice to him, he could be around for a while.

11. He doesn’t like hearing “no”

A huge red flag is when the man does not like to hear the word “no” and starts to pressure you into things you don’t feel comfortable doing. It could be staying for another drink or spending the night together. Stand firm and don’t just give in to please him.

12. A lack of respect

Lastly, always track his behaviour when he’s around you. If he’s checking out other women in the bar or not treating you the way you want to be treated, it’s time to say goodbye.

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